Best Popular Non-Racist Black People Jokes

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    black people jokes

    Black people have many very funny jokes about themselves, some of the jokes even sound quite racist so please be mindful of whom you joke with, do not use race jokes with a black person you are not close to or who gets offended easily. This is a list of funny non-racist black people jokes, I have decided not to include the racist jokes.
    1. You’re so dumb, you dropped out of Sunday school
    2. You’re so fat, you pay for two seats on a plane
    3. You’re so short, when you stand, Kevin Hart can see the center of your head while sitting
    4. You’re so dumb, you failed a blood test
    5. You are so black tar calls you baby
    6. You’re so black if you were leaning against a whitewall you’d look like a walkway
    7. You’re so black, when you went to night school, you were marked absent.
    8. You so black if you touch charcoal, you’d leave a handprint
    9. You are so black, when you got shot, the bullet came back and asked for a flashlight
    10. You’re so ugly when you were born, your mom said “What a treasure” and your dad replied “Yeah, lets go bury it”
    11. You’re so fat you’re the definition of infinite
    12. You so fat, when you went skydiving you caused an eclipse
    13. You so ugly, you made a happy meal frown
    14. You’re so old, your birth certificate reads “expired”
    15. You’re so poor, church rats pity you
    16. You’re so poor, I once saw you running after a gargage truck with a shopping list
    17. You’re so ugly, when One Direction saw you, they turned the other direction
    18. You’re so ugly, you scare the shit out of the toilet
    19. You’re so stupid, when you want to send a Voicemail you yell into an envelope.
    20. You’re so foolish, you take a ruler to bed to check how long you sleep
    21. You’re so black, if someone throws salt over you, you’d look like space.
    22. You’re so dumb you returned a puzzle cos you thought it was broken
    23. You’re so stupid, you trued to make an appointment with Doctor Pepper
    24. You’re so stupid, you stared at a juice container for three hours because it read “concentrate”
    25. You’re so stupid, when you heard drinks were on the house, you got a ladder
    26. You’re so stupid, you think sea weed is what fish smoke
    27. You’re so hairy, people think you escaped from the zoo
    28. You so stupid, you got locked in a mattress store and you slept on the floor
    29. You so fat, Dracula got diabetes when he sucked your blood
    30. You’re so dumb you think “Harlem Shake” is a drink
    31. You so fat when you step on a scale, it says ”one at a time please”
    32. Yo momma so fat when she went to space, there was no space
    33. Yo mama is so dark if she sits in her car, the oil light goes out
    34. Your mama is so black when she goes at at daytime, street lights come on
    35. Yo mama so dumb she jumped over a glass wall to check what’s on the other side
    36. Yo mama so fat, the only letters of the alphabet she knows are K,F,C.
    37. Yo mama so fat, she irons her panties on the driveway
    38. Yo mama so fat, I took a photo of her last year and it’s still printing
    39. Once you go black, your belongings all end up in cash converters
    40. What are four black guys in a car called? – Tinted windows
    41. How do you hide things from a black man – Put them in a book
    42. What is black, yellow and purple – Black people going to church
    43. What travels at 200km per hour – Black men hearing a dollar drop to the ground
    44. How many black people does it take to screw a light bulb – You can’t count because the light’s off
    45. What do you do to keep black dudes off the streets – KFC on sidewalks
    46. What’s the difference between a black guy and Batman? – Batman can enter into a convenience store without Robin.
    47. Why do black guys always think of sex? – Because they have pubic hair on their head
    48. Which day is the most confusing in Harlem? – Father’s day.
    49. How do you get a black guy to leave you alone – Throw him a Basketball
    50. What differentiates black and white fairytales? – A white fairytale starts with “once upon a time” while a black fairy tale starts with “y’all motherfuckers ain’t gonna believe this shit.”

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